This Super Bowl script is satirical and is meant for entertainment purposes only.
Super Bowl LX in San Francisco, California kicks off on Sunday, February 8, at 6:30 p.m. ET streaming live on NBC and Peacock.
Just over a decade ago at Super Bowl XLIX, the New England Patriots took down the Seattle Seahawks. The game was infamously decided by Seahawks QB Russell Wilson throwing a goal-line interception in the fourth quarter with 20 seconds left to Patriots DB Malcolm Butler as New England hung on to win Tom Brady’s fourth Super Bowl ring.
Will we see anything that shocking on Sunday? Or something weird? Or something surprising at Bad Bunny's Halftime Show? Those questions are unanswerable, of course, but we pretended to know in this Super Bowl script.
As we dive into this satirical take on the 2026 Super Bowl script, let’s imagine what the “scriptwriters” might have in store for football’s most iconic event, if the Super Bowl script leaked.
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The 2026 Super Bowl Script Leak (Allegedly)
At this point, everyone knows the NFL is scripted. The NFL has openly admitted it.
Sunday's coin toss will start off the night on a wild note. The Patriots will call heads, and the coin will land balanced on its side. Once again, the Pats will dip into their Deflategate-level bag of tricks.
As the ref bends down to see the coin, he will “accidently” bump it to land on heads... just as scripted. The Pats will "decide" to kick the ball, and the pre-planned fun begins.
The teams will swap open drive touchdowns — a Sam-Darnold-to-JSN for Seattle, then a Drake-Maye-to-a-WR-TBD — compelling Tony Romo and Tom Brady to scream into their microphones, even though they're watching the game at home like the rest of us.
The scriptwriters deem that the rest of the first half will be a defensive clinic, with Patriots DE Milton Williams compiling seven sacks, and Seahawks staunch defensive backfield intercepts every single one of Maye's throws.
After those first two drives, neither team scores in the half, but the scriptwriters don't care — they just want to see Bad Bunny.
Super Bowl LX Halftime Show Script (Allegedly)
Bad Bunny comes out for the Super Bowl halftime show, and who’s right next to him as the smoke clears? Patriots WR Stefon Diggs girlfriend and rapper Cardi B — currently the most likely to perform with Bad Bunny at the halftime show, per PrizePicks Culture Picks, with a 1.61x payout.
And look, there's J Balvin joining them on a epic roundown of "I Like It" — Balvin has a4x payout to perform during the Halftime Show
During the song, the camera will pan to Stefon Diggs in a bad disguise secretly watching his girl on stage. Despite the rumors, Diggs will return to the locker room rather than proposing, looking to secure his own ring before offering Cardi one.
2026 Super Bowl LX: Second Half (Allegedly)
Here’s where the nightmare begins. The electrical substation next to the 49ers home stadium goes on the fritz, and next thing you know, it's a festival of injuries. Suddenly, the substation-causing-injuries theory is exploding on social media.
You expected a Patriots QB Drake Maye vs. Seahawks QB Sam Darnold Super Bowl matchup — exactly what everyone expected to start the season, but ended with Patriots QB Joshua Dobbs against Seahawks QB Drew Lock.
Players are going down left and right, but with the score still just 10-7, Dobbs — aka the Passtronaut — launches a 40+ yard TD pass to Patriots WR Kayshon Boutte with 1:59 left in the fourth quarter to go up 14-10.
Lock is known for his on-field swagger and never-wavering confidence. He relies heavily on Smith-Njigba and RB Kenneth Walker III on the final drive of the Super Bowl and goes 80 yards to score a TD.
The first play is a run to Walker. But wait! He pitches the ball back to Drew Lock who looks deep downfield and finds JSN for 67 yards! A successful flea flicker takes the Seahawks to the 13-yard line with 1:41 on the clock.
New England has no timeouts, so Seattle takes the clock down as they run the ball three straight plays getting a first down on the two-yard line. There are only 21 seconds on the clock.
On the final play of the game, Lock takes the ball himself on a designed QB sneak. There’s only one problem: he’s got two guys closing in on him. Seahawks WR Cooper Kupp sees this and breaks from his block, letting a third Patriots defender run the already distressed QB.
As Lock is hit by two Patriots, he throws the ball to the end zone. The former Super Bowl champion is a champ once again, as Kupp hauls in the TD while getting blown up himself by Patriots DB Carlton Davis III.
His efforts aren’t enough to stop the former Triple Crown winner.
The game was so ugly that the league awarded Bad Bunny the Super Bowl MVP trophy.
Note: This is a completely satirical take on the Super Bowl script and is intended only for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real events, teams, players, or coaches — past, present, or future — is purely coincidental.
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How accurate do you think our satirical 2026 Super Bowl script is?
Dating back to 2008, the last six matchups between the Seahawks and Patriots have all been one-score games. Be prepared for another one to end the 2025-26 NFL season.
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